Threesomes – How To Avoid Troubles (Part 1)

Threesomes – How To Avoid Troubles (Part 1)

Threesomes are one of the most common fantasies among men and women alike. It’s not unnatural to want more of a good thing, after all! Unfortunately, even being such a widely employed sexual adventure, threesomes are pretty likely to go south. Unless, that is, you follow some specific guidelines and know what you’re getting yourself into! In the following two-part series I will cover what you need to know before getting yourself into a menage-á-trois and, more importantly, what you need to know to get out of one unscathed.

Know Yourself — And Your Partners

Know yourself and your expectations. Are you looking for a little fun to spice up a relationship or are you interested in a continued polyamorous relationship? Are you hoping to expand your romantic relationship as well as your sexual relationship? Are you open to the idea if your partner is? These are all questions you have to consider before you enter into a threesome situation.

You must also know your partner and his or her expectations. If your partner is just “going along for the ride” because you suggested the idea, it’s a good idea to put the brakes on now. Make sure that this is something both of you genuinely want, and that you are both well aware of the emotional risks that can come along with involving a third person in your relationship.

If you are the third party in the threesome, it’s just as important to know the couple and what they hope to get out of this arrangement. Be prepared for any and all circumstances, including jealousy, awkwardness, or being used as a throwaway plaything. Also be prepared to have a great time and enjoy yourself!

Don’t Have a Baby to Save the Marriage

Never have a threesome to “save” a strained sexual relationship — it won’t work. If you’re half of a couple that is having issues in the bedroom, adding a third person is hardly the path you should be taking. It’s also wholly unfair to whoever you invite to play; they are likely to get caught up in your personal drama without even realizing it.

Comfort Is King

Be absolutely sure that all partners are comfortable with their sexuality, including yourself. Be very wary of encouraging anyone to explore outside of their sexual orientation if they are not gung-ho about the idea. This can bring up many unsexy issues of self-doubt. Exploring curiosity is one thing, whereas goading someone into an interaction they may not be comfortable with is entirely different.

If you are uncomfortable playing with someone who is the same sex, forcing yourself to do so won’t make you feel any better about it. Likewise, if you are in a gay relationship, spicing things up with someone of the opposite sex is bound to stir up feelings that may make someone involved very uncomfortable. Use discretion when exploring new sexual territory — for yourself and your partners. This is supposed to be an engaging, erotic experience, but with three people’s emotions and tastes involved, it can get a little hairy once you’re in.

A Place to Rest Your Weary (Head-Giving) Head

If you are the third party in the threesome, understand that it is possible that your couple may not offer you space in their bed, or even a place to stay. Think of yourself as a plaything, not the extra piece in the puzzle. Be prepared to make a graceful exit after the fun is over. That said, if you are inviting a third party to join your sexual exploits, it is rude to not offer sleeping arrangements (whether it be your bed, your couch or a hotel room) for your playmate. This consideration is often overlooked, leaving an otherwise satiated and happy individual with a sour taste in their mouth at the end of the night.


About the author: Lydia Larabee is an author, sexpert, entertainer and pot-stirrer hailing from Chicago. She believes in promiscuity, indulgence, peripheral vision and helping everyone have better sex. To learn more about her views, visit www.lydialarabee.com.

One Comment

  1. Threesomes - How To Avoid Troubles (Part 2) - Sexual Health, Intimacy and Relationships
    Dec 18, 2013 @ 14:46:01

    […] the last part of this series (and here is the Threesomes Troubles (Part 1)), I covered the very basics of preparing to have a threesome and knowing if you, your partner, […]

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