Threesomes – How to avoid troubles (part 2)

Threesomes – How to avoid troubles (part 2)

Does the thought of a threesome excite you? Have you always wanted a threesome? Do you wonder about problems that come along with a threesome?

Jen wants a threesome with Trish and Rob

Jen and Rob have been married for 5 years and Jen knows Trish since her teens. In fact, Trish and Jen are best buddies and have always shared everything. Jen, however, has been thinking of sharing Rob with her – Jen wants a threesome involving her husband and her best buddy. The thought excites her.

Jen knows that Rob finds Trish attractive. He’s caught his preying eyes several times but she’s not sure whether it’s “innocent exploration.” Jen has also seen that Trish shows great interest in Rob and has often complimented Jen for having a husband with a sculpted physique. She’s sure they can convince them both.

Jen wants to take her desire to the next level and make it happen. While approaching both is one issue, her bigger fear is “what after the threesome?” Jen is not sure how their relationships would change after they actually do it. She is wondering whether she should keep her fantasies to herself or go ahead and take their relationship to a new height. She doesn’t want to spoil what she already has.

In the last part of this series (part 1 of  Threesomes troubles) – I covered the very basics of preparing to have a threesome and knowing if you, your partner, and/or your additional partner are ready. Here we answer your concern, “What if I’m a part of a threesome gone bad”

In this part, we will cover a few more specifics to ensure that you have a great time between the sheets and avoid any roadblocks on the way.

A threesome gone bad with your buddy can be terrible

If you’re considering your options for a threesome, it’s pretty likely that you’ve scanned both of your lists of friends for potential partners.

A friend is always good to have, but difficult to be. – Norbert Harms 

While it may seem easier to approach someone you already know, this can have devastating effects on the future of your friendship. If things don’t go as planned, it can cause irreparable damage to the platonic relationship that you already had. A threesome gone bad is not just bad, it’s terrible.

Be prepared for this consequence when inviting anyone who is already a part of your life into your bedroom.

Green-eyed ladies… and gents

Be aware that jealousy will occasionally to arise between two or more playmates, especially those of the same sex in MMF/FFM groupings.

Insecurity runs rampant in threesome arrangements, and you have to be absolutely sure that you and both partners are very comfortable in your own skin and with your own limitations.

If jealousy does become a factor, plan beforehand how to address this issue. Be sure to balance attention between both other parties and encourage them to do the same.

Each of us is bound to some special others by the invisible fibers of loyalty. – Lewis B. Smedes 

If feelings get hurt, it is perfectly acceptable to take a step back and discuss the issue before continuing.

All games have house rules

Establish rules of play and acceptable behavior beforehand. If you are not interested in certain sex acts, make that clear before playtime begins.

For example, if you are not a fan of anal sex, let that be known to both partners lest someone stick something where it’s not wanted in the heat of the moment.

Miscommunications like this can ruin an entire evening, but laying all of your cards on the table prior to the threesome can help to avoid these awkward missteps.

Similarly, understand that applying unrealistic boundaries — especially in relation to your romantic partner and the additional play partner — will quickly bring down the level of excitement and make everyone involved wary of experimentation.

This usually arises in FFM groupings where the woman in the romantic pairing tells her male partner that he can “play but not penetrate.” If you need to establish this type of stipulation to engage in a threesome, you are not ready for a polygamous sexual relationship.

Conclusion

Know that if things go well, you may be asked for another romp in the sheets down the line.

If this sounds like something you won’t be interested in, keep in mind that you will have to break it off with TWO people, not just one, which can be twice as difficult.

Similarly, you must recognize that if you are one half of a couple and your partner is not comfortable with a second round, you must respect their decision and appreciate their willingness to try new things at all.

Decide from the get-go whether you want this to be a recurring incident or a one-time fling.

It may be a hard decision to make without all the variables (such as whether or not your future lovers are actually good in bed), but it’s good to head in with some semblance of an exit strategy.

Is involving my friend in a threesome a good idea? How can I salvage a threesome gone bad with my friend? How do I ask my friend for a threesome? If you’ve involved in a threesome with friends, share your experience with us. We’d love to hear it.

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