Threesomes – How to avoid troubles (part 2)

Threesomes – How to avoid troubles (part 2)

In the last part of this series (part 1 of  Threesomes troubles) - I covered the very basics of preparing to have a threesome and knowing if you, your partner, and/or your additional partner are ready.

In this part, we will cover a few more specifics to ensure that you have a great time between the sheets and avoid any roadblocks on the way.

Friends with benefits don’t have many benefits

If you’re considering your options for a threesome, it’s pretty likely that you’ve scanned both of your lists of friends for potential partners.

While it may seem easier to approach someone you already know, this can have devastating effects on the future of your friendship. If things don’t go as planned, it can cause irreparable damage to the platonic relationship that you already had.

Be prepared for this consequence when inviting anyone who is already a part of your life into your bedroom.

Green-eyed ladies… and gents

Be aware that jealousy will occasionally to arise between two or more playmates, especially those of the same sex in MMF/FFM groupings.

Insecurity runs rampant in threesome arrangements, and you have to be absolutely sure that you and both partners are very comfortable in your own skin and with your own limitations.

If jealousy does become a factor, plan beforehand how to address this issue. Be sure to balance attention between both other parties and encourage them to do the same.

If feelings get hurt, it is perfectly acceptable to take a step back and discuss the issue before continuing.

All games have house rules

Establish rules of play and acceptable behavior beforehand. If you are not interested in certain sex acts, make that clear before playtime begins.

For example, if you are not a fan of anal sex, let that be known to both partners lest someone stick something where it’s not wanted in the heat of the moment.

Miscommunications like this can ruin an entire evening, but laying all of your cards on the table prior to the threesome can help to avoid these awkward missteps.

Similarly, understand that applying unrealistic boundaries — especially in relation to your romantic partner and the additional play partner — will quickly bring down the level of excitement and make everyone involved wary of experimentation.

This usually arises in FFM groupings where the woman in the romantic pairing tells her male partner that he can “play but not penetrate.” If you need to establish this type of stipulation to engage in a threesome, you are not ready for a polygamous sexual relationship.

Conclusion

Know that if things go well, you may be asked for another romp in the sheets down the line.

If this sounds like something you won’t be interested in, keep in mind that you will have to break it off with TWO people, not just one, which can be twice as difficult.

Similarly, you must recognize that if you are one half of a couple and your partner is not comfortable with a second round, you must respect their decision and appreciate their willingness to try new things at all.

Decide from the get-go whether you want this to be a recurring incident or a one-time fling.

It may be a hard decision to make without all the variables (such as whether or not your future lovers are actually good in bed), but it’s good to head in with some semblance of an exit strategy.


About the author: Lydia Larabee is an author, sexpert, entertainer and pot-stirrer hailing from Chicago. She believes in promiscuity, indulgence, peripheral vision and helping everyone have better sex. To learn more about her views, visit www.lydialarabee.com.

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